Saturday, December 6, 2014

On. Off. Black. White. Binge. Restrict.

Still here.  I've started at least half a dozen posts and just haven't finished them, my creative writing spark nowhere to be found.  And I spent the last day or so writing something absolutely profound, and after installing some updates and rebooting, POOF! it's gone.  I thought I had saved... apparently not.  The Blogging gods are angry tonight.

Anyway - let's talk about binge and restrict cycles, okay?  This has been at the forefront of my brain for awhile now, mostly because I'm definitely in the binge part of the cycle and instead of just looking to get back to restricting, I want to figure out a way to break the cycle completely.  Move the behaviors to the middle, avoiding the extremes of either the binge or restrict, because while I love roller coasters, I'm not so fond of my nutrition taking the same kind of ride.

An interesting side note: my binge/restrict is not only about my eating, it's also my spending habits. More interestingly, spending almost always ebbs and flows along with my eating; it's rare when I'm being nutritionally sound but spending money on all the things on my I WANT IT NOW list. So it's been like an early Christmas around here -- food, treats and gifts galore.

Back to food. There's a theory out there simply called Eat The Food (ETF) that posits that a lot of disordered eating starts after undergoing dieting of some sort -- that by cutting out some foods completely from your diet you set yourself up for a binge at some later point.  The way to break this cycle is to go through a period where you eat anything you want, whenever you want.  They advocate listening to your body and only eating when hungry and only eating until satisfaction (not overeating), but that if you want, say, Pop-Tarts for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day, that's what you should eat.

The end game is changing the way you think about food -- you take the stigma and draw away from eating once-forbidden foods.  Foods are no longer classified as "good" or "bad" -- it's all just calories, no judgment involved.  Perhaps veggies and lean meat provide more energy, but that doesn't mean you can't be fueled by chocolate. Eventually you learn what makes you feel good and perform your best and because nothing is off the table (see what I did there?), there's no reason to binge anymore.  You can have anything you want to eat at anytime -- no need to eat like it's the last time you'll ever see that particular food again.

I'll say this much:  after a few months of "being good" and eating clean (see how the restrict cycle gets a "good" judgment attached to it?), I'm on the other side of that spectrum right now, eating all sorts of crap (another judgment) without any sort of restraint. And I'll be honest -- I feel like I'm about done with this binge, but I need to figure out some way to not go into a full-on restrict phase because a binge will likely follow.

And I'm not entirely sure how to do this. In the past it's always been that if I eat one I'll eat 20 -- it's not enough until it's gone. I've talked about this before, but I really need to figure out the middle ground -- that's got to be the key to a normal relationship with food. I want to be able to have all the tasty stuff I love in the house without being worried about it disappearing shortly after being shelved.

It all comes back to my old friend: mindfulness. If I can manage to just listen to my body, distinguish real hunger pangs from the desire to eat for some other reason, I can break the cycle.  So simple.  Not so easy. My body knows what it needs to thrive, it's just a matter of paying attention and feeding it when hungry and stopping when it's satisfied. Mindfulness. Yup.

Monday, October 20, 2014

Fallin'


I've been sucked in by Autumn. It's true.  The season is an absolute vortex, you know it too, don't you (luckily not of the polar variety that we had last winter...)?

On one hand, I love fall; the colors, the crisp air, the rustling of leaves (that I no longer have to rake!) and all things pumpkin-flavored make it one of my favorite season. But I have to admit -- there's a looming melancholy that accompanies it.  

Like a lot of folks, I don't deal all that well with the decreasing amount of sunlight (especially these past few weeks, where rain and cloudy skies have been the norm) and find myself losing motivation.  And more than that -- while I hesitate to call it Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), it definitely messes with my mood. It isn't too too well known, but depression is present in my family tree and it has hit me as well. I've dealt with it -- therapy and meds -- and  am doing really well, but this time of year always makes me rethink my state of mind.

Part of it is simply a strong desire to take stock of where I'm at and where I need to go. A slowing down of activity and, in some ways, the moment for a fresh start as well. It's like it's time to simplify my life and slip into hibernation mode with a clean slate. Does that make any sense? I'm not even sure it makes sense to me, either. I want to grab hold of the last of the nice weather and make the most of our time together, but then I want to be ready for all the comforts of winter:  good books to read, sleepy dogs to snuggle with and hot drinks to sip and warm my hands with.

I will say that I'm managing better than usual. More than anything, I've got a mindfulness about myself that's been invaluable. I don't have all the answers, but I'm absolutely certain of some facts:  sweat removes more than salt from my body. Nutritious, healthy food nurtures my soul. Music, books and downtime heal and soothe my spirit. And as much as hibernation is oh so necessary for my mental health, I also need to nourish my social side so it survives intact until Spring.

And so, I keep on keepin' on. It's more of a challenge, but I'm doing it and will continue to fight the good fight (cliché much?). Practicing simplicity in as many parts of my life as possible: sleep, wake up, breathe, be grateful for the breathing, be productive, train hard, eat whole foods, relax and rest. It's that easy.


Thursday, October 2, 2014

Down the stretch

It's the last quarter of 2014 -- hard to believe, isn't it?  October always seems to spring up on me like it was waiting around a corner to pounce when I wasn't looking.

Now, remember all those months back?  At the beginning of the year?  You know, when the Midwest was in the middle of The Never-Ending Winter?  I made a bunch of resolutions and I think it might be time to check in on them -- see what work I need to fit in during the last 3 months of the year so I feel all successful and everything.  So, here goes nothing:

A three-quarters-of-the-way-there review of my 2014 goals ... 

  • Focus on the last 6 months of Lean Eating. Well, round two of Lean Eating is going reasonably well, though I need to buckle down and really follow the habits.  Just like last time, once the habits became food-related (5 servings of vegetables, lean protein with every meal, etc) I kind of fall off the wagon because it's inconvenient to eat that way.  Of course, the point of this program is to not only make good food convenient, but do it in such a way that it's somehow even more convenient than shoving a Poptart down my throat.
  • Start posting on my blog daily again. Um, yea. This hasn't happened (obviously!), but at least I'm posting here sporadically. Right?
  • Attend at least two Lean Eating Google Hangouts a month. I'm participating more than last time, but I've also tapered off a bit and need to throw myself back into the game.
  • Schedule at least one call with Coach Veronica Jen. I've been emailing Coach Jen about every other week or so.  I probably need to up that to once a week, though, and really start asking for help.
  • Read 20 books. Done! 56 books read so far this year!  And, I'm proud to say that I've also been reading a fair amount of non-fiction, too, which has been a good thing. I think I feel smarter.  Do I sound smarter?
  • Do more dog training. This is ongoing and the dogs, after a rough patch, are doing well again. Next in line is training Belle that Clarke is allowed anywhere in the house, even if she considers it "her spot".  Because, really, all the spots are MINE, right? I'm in charge, right? Until she starts working and bringing in money, she doesn't own anything (someone just needs to convince her of this fact...).
  • Journal, follow progress of goals and write just a little about each day. Still at this, though not on a daily basis.
  • 5k steps on weekdays, 10k steps on weekend. Over the summer I started walking a whole lot as a precursor to starting running again and that's really improved my step count.  Most weeks I'll hit the 55k mark, which makes me happy.
  • TV can go on no earlier than 6pm on weekdays. I don't really pay attention to this much anymore, but I'm doing better at not watching as much TV on the whole, though. Without full-blown cable service anymore, I don't have many mindless go-to shows/sports to put on.
  • Do a month of not falling asleep to the TV as an experiment. Yea, I tried this a few times and while it isn't awful to not have the TV on, I find that I seem to fall asleep faster when compared to listening to music or having nothing on.
  • More music! Need to get back to this, but am finding it more difficult to find the time.  In the car I'm usually listening to a book and when I run I've been listening to podcasts.  I do blast the music when I'm strength training, though, and I've also been putting the headphones in at work sometimes as well.  All's not lost!
One of Belle's many spots
So, not too bad, actually.  And for the rest of the year?  More of the same, really. Keep on keepin' on.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

This is starting to get ridiculous

I'm beginning to have trouble keeping track of all my games and competitions and challenges...

  • GymPact which requires five 30-minute workouts a week
  • DietBet which requires that I lose 4% of my body weight by this coming Friday (spoiler alert:  I think I'm about there!)
  • PN Coaching (of course)
  • And now... another Whole Life Challenge
Whew.

The Whole Life Challenge started this weekend and runs for 8 weeks, requiring me to not eat things I enjoy, like PopTarts and Diet Pepsi (which, let's face it, are like manna from heaven).  Also - workouts, drinking water, stretching, and a new lifestyle habit every week (this week is no TV/computer/etc while eating). Not bad timing for it, I suppose -- while things have been going well around these parts, I suppose a good nutritional kick in the butt won't hurt (too much).

I've been thinking about all these social media type challenges and interactions I've been signing up for -- it's comfortable for me because I don't have to actually, you know, meet and talk to people in person.  I'm finding that the older I get, the less I like leaving the house.  Don't worry -- I haven't yet gotten to the stage where I sit on my porch and yell at the kids to get off my lawn (give me another year or two... oh, and a lawn for kids to have to keep off of, I suppose).

But when I do leave the house?  After a short while I'm ready to go back home.  

Anyone else like this?  I find that even small groups of friends can wear me out; don't get me wrong -- I love my friends and love hanging out with them, but after a few hours, I just need to leave and not have to talk to anyone at all.  It's better one-on-one, also better if there's activity that doesn't require conversation.

I'm an introvert of the highest order, for sure.  Once I read the true definition of an introvert, I knew I had found a home. I read this article and found myself emphatically shaking my head in affirmation: YES.  Someone gets it (let's not mock that it's Huffington Post that gets me).  Being social drains my energy; being alone recharges me.

For a long time, this really bothered me.  Why was I the only one wanting to go home when all my friends were ready to continue the party?  It seemed to me that I was fundamentally broken somehow.  But whether it's the recent media coverage of introverts, or hard-earned wisdom or just being too old to give a shit anymore, I now recognize that this is simply the way I am. Just because I want to stay home all weekend and read and exercise and snuggle with my dogs doesn't mean I'm no fun.  It just means that I find different things fun.  And that's okay (no one but me has to like it).  And now that I know how to take care of myself, it's much easier planning outings. I don't want to be a hermit (well, not most days, at least), just want my social events in small doses is all.

Anyway.  That was quite a tangent, eh?  So - let's run some numbers, just for kicks.  Since the beginning of PN (this time around), I'm down 5 pounds and about 4 inches. I've missed only one workout and have fit in more than I was supposed to on a few of the weeks. I'm in a good groove and I'm just trying to not do anything that might upset the ol' apple cart. As easily as this groove has come is as easily as it will go. That sounds like a great title for a song, doesn't it?  You can have it.  You're welcome.

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Blister in the sun

Clearly, someone smarter than me should have slapped
some sunscreen on my face yesterday...
Hey there, internet!  It's been the most gorgeous weekend here and I'm dreading having to get back to work tomorrow -- I'm guessing I'm not alone in feeling this way. I spent last week working from home because I was on call for jury duty.  Ended up having to report for just one day of service and didn't even get called into a trial room -- I sat in a comfy chair for about 6 hours, reading a book. Not the worst way to earn $10.

Things are still moving along here.  I'm down a few pounds and a few inches and still hearing that "I can do this!!" voice in my head (at least I hope the voice is in my head...).

On another topic, I talked with my coach about having signed up for the 10 mile run and she suggested that I run 3 times a week for the next few weeks -- my two interval workouts will be runs and then my Active Recovery day will also be a run. Outside of that, I'll keep to the PN prescribed strength training workouts and see how this goes.  I want to ease into a schedule of regular running a bit because I'm old and brittle and break easily -- at least that's what my horoscope said yesterday.

My PN coach has been really awesome this time around -- she's very involved and all over the PN forums and our Facebook group.  Like I told her, she's our do-gooder, rah-rah stalker coach. I feel like she's busting her butt to make sure that we're all doing as much as we can to stay focused and motivated and get the most out of this year.  She's definitely a keeper!

Since I'm not feeling very write-y and humor-y tonight, I'll keep this brief. Mostly I wanted to post the ridiculous picture of my sunburn, anyway, so, mission accomplished.

Monday, September 1, 2014

Quick check-in

You guys, I've really been wanting to post here.  Honest.  I've got a million thoughts (or at least two or three, let's not get carried away) bouncing around in my head that I want to share and get feedback on, but I've been spending most of my free time, well, doing things other than writing blog posts.

First, a quick update on PN Coaching:  it's going well.  I'm down a couple of pounds and a couple of inches.  Nothing dramatic, but progress.  More than that, though, is that I'm feeling in the groove and motivated and, like, "I've got this. Totally."  My food choices still are suspect from time to time, but I'm working out more and with more intensity (which my dogs love because I'm the ultimate salt lick once I'm done since I sweat so damn much (everything's for them, you know)).

This has nothing to do with this post, it
just makes me laugh.  That's all.
Another thing that I'm doing, just to see how it works, is DietBet.  Essentially, you put up a bet -- you can join games that are anywhere from $20 to hundreds of dollars -- and all you have to do (imagine ironic air quotes around "all") is lose 4% of your body weight in 4 weeks.  One teeny tiny percent a week.  That's it!  If you do that, you win (now imagine happy slot machine noises)!  Of the game you joined, the people who reach the 4% goal all share in the pot.  If everyone in the group were to reach their goal, you'd at least be assured of winning back your original bet, so you'd never lose money as long as you lose weight. I'm 1.5 weeks into it and am down about 2.5%, so I'm ahead of schedule for the moment.  Keep your fingers crossed for me!  If I win, it's free ice cream for all the internet! 

(not really)

If figured I'd try the DietBet thing because GymPact has been working really well for me (remember? I told you about this... don't you ever listen to me?).  I promise to do five 30-minute workouts a week (that are logged so they're legit).  I if I miss a workout, I pay them $5 for each one missed.  And at the end of the week, all the people who put into the pot for missing workouts fund the wonderful people (like me) who are good little workout kids and do what they said they would.  The winnings aren't exactly going to pay my mortgage (as in, I haven't had a week where I've come away with more than $2.00), but the incentive of losing money certainly hooks into my cheap, bohemian roots to keep me going.

On the Things I Sign Up To Do And Then Don't Do front, I'm signed up for the 10-mile run at Navy Pier in November. I'm determined to make this be a Thing I Sign Up To Do And Then Surprise Everyone And Actually Do It ... I miss running and being in the kind of shape that makes running therapeutic and not so hurty and painful. And the only way that'll happen is if I keep run training.  So - away we go!  I've got about 8 weeks to get my long runs up to snuff. Easy peasy.  Right?


Sunday, August 10, 2014

Back!

Just a short note so y'all don't think that I've forgotten about you... I'm back from vacation and still trying to adjust to the re-entry shock. Work tomorrow is not going to help, just sayin'.

The trip was fabulous.  The Canadian Rockies are absolutely stunning and the trip guides seemed to know all the best spots in which to take us.  Every day I thought, "Well, there can't possibly be anything more beautiful than THIS spot..." and of course, the next day came around and I was proven wrong, time and again.

The new habit we started this past week was eating slowly -- an oldie but goody.  Over vacation, eating slowly wasn't too much of a problem because I was either chatting with someone, or gaping at the beautiful scenery too much to remember to eat. But now, it'll be more difficult as the rush rush rush pace picks up again.

More later on the vacation as well as how PN is going.  In the meantime, a few photos to give you a taste of what I enjoyed for a week:

View from the campground

Lake Annette


Saturday, August 2, 2014

A little better

This poem showed up last year, and I love it as much now as I did then.  Like I said the other day, it's all about doing things just a little better today than I did yesterday, all about the progress and forward motion.


Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

Portia Nelson
Chapter 1
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost. I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
Chapter 2
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend that I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in this same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
Chapter 3
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in. It’s a habit. But my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
Chapter 4
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
Chapter 5
I walk down another street.

Thursday, July 31, 2014

August? Already?

I'm not entirely sure how it happened, but it seems that the summer is two-thirds of the way over already. June took awhile to come and go, but July, well, WHOOSH! is the best way to describe it.

PN coaching has been going well so far.  We're just starting to get into the swing of things, starting to meet other teammates and figuring out how to maneuver the website.  We haven't even done our initial measurements and photos yet -- that's this weekend.  It seems kind of weird to wait two weeks to do this, but I think that perhaps it's not a bad idea -- it reinforces the idea that this program isn't about numbers (though that's one of the ways we track progress), but rather putting together a sustainable lifestyle.

Of course, I'll be doing my first weigh-in and measurements and then heading out on vacation for a week.  Yay! Luckily I'm headed to the Canadian Rockies and with any luck, the hiking and other activity will counteract all the good food.  It could happen, that's all I'm sayin'.

Can't wait for this vacation ... despite living in the desperately-flat city of Chicago, I'm a mountain girl at heart. Really, there isn't anything I like better than to head out to the woods and hike up until I have a view of what feels like the entire country. Of course, since I'm not in the best of shape, my heart just might beat out of my chest while attempting this -- and it's not like there's any oxygen at those altitudes ("... there's just no air here...").  Sounds like a great combination, no?  I might have to befriend a bear or moose to carry me back down the mountain to my tent. The animals out there are like the ones in The Jungle Book, right?

Back to PN, there have been some really good foundational lessons these past two weeks. Some new, some reruns from last year, but the program just kind of feels better this year. Maybe it's the changes they've made, maybe it's that I'm in a different headspace. Or perhaps I'm officially PN-brainwashed. Who knows?


Remember my workout stickers? Still loving
the whole shindig. And look at that consistency!
(and yes, Julie, I worked out on your anniversary
but was nice enough not to sticker you guys)
There are two concepts that have shown up in the lessons more than once:  the idea of progress over perfection, and that consistency is the key to everything.  And to that, I say: YES. As always, be a little better today than yesterday.  And then keep doing that today, tomorrow, the next day and so on.  It's all so simple.  Not easy, mind you, but simple. I think I like to complicate this stuff, but it really does come down to being mindful and making better decisions than I used to, little by little.

I've been thinking a lot about the things that I really need to work on this year, the things that I didn't manage to get a handle on last year, and there are definitely one or two items on that list.  More on that later, promise.

And on that note, it's time to go pack but still try to hide from the dogs that I'm going to be leaving them.  Of course, they like my roommate better anyway, so it's possible that they won't even notice that I'm gone.  Damn dogs.  They're lucky they're cute.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Over the brink

It's started -- the new year of Lean Eating.  Well, not exactly ... they re-branded slightly and instead of it being called "Lean Eating" it's "Precision Nutrition Coaching".  Toe-may-toe, toe-mah-toe.  I kind of dig the name change.  I like saying that I'm in a coaching program than just "Lean Eating" which sounds a little dorky.  Not that dorky isn't in my wheelhouse.

Going into this I was worried that it was going to be a repeat of last year, but so far there have been a number of noticeable changes, all for the better as far as I'm concerned.  My coach Jen has already been in touch with me a few times via email, which has been awesome and a switch from last year. And I'm determined not to feel like I'm "bothering her" since, you know, it isn't actually true and even if it were, it's her job to be bothered by the likes of me.

The first habit is different than last year -- instead of doing supplements and such, it's an even easier habit designed to prep us for the year ahead.  Every day I need to decide on a 5-minute action that will help me move towards my goals, or get something done that's been on my list, etc.  I've done things like get podcasts on my phone for my walks, going through the refrigerator and cleaning out food and starting up some shoulder stretches for my perpetually tight shoulders.  As always, baby steps.  Just do a little better than I did yesterday.

Remember the green check marks?
Those haven't changed, thank God.
Oh - and a big change:  no more skinfold testing! The consensus was that using calipers -- even by professionals -- was sketchy and not necessarily accurate.  So now it's just scale weight and body girth measurements and photos.  I'm considering still doing the skinfold measurements every 3 months just for kicks and grins (since my in-house roommate/trainer does it for me), but we'll see. It's not a fun process; something about another person squeezing your body fat is a little off-putting, ya know?

And on that note, time for bed!

Sunday, July 20, 2014

On the brink

Tomorrow starts my second round of Lean Eating.  I wasn't going to be that girl, the one who didn't get any results and had to do another year, but here I am.

But I'm not feeling like a failure, no. I'm feeling excited and ready to go -- I recognize all the work that I put in last year and am now ready to really put the program to its best use for me. 

I've said this before, but I'm finally staring to put words into action:  I don't care what size I am.  Truly.  Whether I'm a size 6 or a size 16, as long as I can go out and do anything I want at any time and not be limited by a lack of fitness, I will have been successful. 

So, if I want to bike better, I need to go out and hit the trails.  If I want to run better, then I need to hit the pavement.  Lift heavy stuff?  Then I need to hit the gym.

Here's to a year of kicking ass!

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Resolutions: revisited and revised

Way, way back in the days when this blog didn't gather quite as much dust, I made some resolutions for 2014. Remember?  Even knowing the glaringly awful statistics about how many people actually keep their resolutions doesn't stop me from doing it every year.  I figure that even if I don't follow it, at least it's a roadmap to refer to as the months roll on by.

And - I actually haven't done too badly:  

  • Lean Eating stuff?  Could have been better, but I made a bunch of progress.  
  • Reading?  I've read almost twice as many books in about half the time. Whew! It's been awesome and I hadn't realized how much I missed it.  And a PSA -- support your local public library! The services they offer are beyond compare.
  • Dog Training?  Well, we'll say that perhaps my dogs still rule the roost, but they let me delude myself into thinking I'm in charge more than they used to.
  • More steps?  I'm moving so much more than I used to!  I think starting up using Gym Pact has really pushed me in the right direction.
  • Journaling?  Man, I was so good for awhile but that's slipped off.  On the other hand, I've started digital photo journaling, which has put me on a search for the best app out there to do it (I love Project365 on the iOS side, but need the Android equivalent ... any suggestions?).
  • More music and less TV?  I cut the cord on full-blown cable right after March Madness and I can't say that I've missed it too much.  My brother -- saint that he is -- has given me a log in to his service so that I can catch the occasional sporting event that I no longer can see on my TV.  And with the music, I'm crushin' pretty hard on Songza these days ... love the curated lists and the huge variety of music. You should check it out.

So, what goals am I'm going to tweak for the rest of the year?

Not too much, actually.  Keep the Lean Eating goals -- put in the work, attend the video chats, keep in close touch with my coach.  I need support and I need to ask for it.

Keep enjoying the outdoors.  After this past winter, I've been trying to get outside as often as possible for walks both with and without the dogs. Especially on days when I strength train, I try to get out for a long walk in the evening and I'm really loving the time it gives me to catch up on some of the podcasts that I love listening to.

Keep on with the less TV.  I've got a list of shows that I actually enjoy watching (American Ninja Warrior, anyone?? I'm addicted! And did you see Kacy Catanzaro kill it out there the other night?? Talk about inspirational!) but beyond that and watching the news, I have better things to do other than vegetating on the couch.

And something new:  I want to pick up a new tech skill.  I found a free course on how to write Android apps, which looks totally interesting.  Or - perhaps something in the way of learning about web design and programming.  But - something.  I learn a ton of stuff at my job, but I want to learn something fun (and perhaps even marketable).

Encompassing all this was the straightforward goal:  be me, be happy.  And I have to say, I think I'm hitting this pretty well.  I feel like it's been a long time since I've felt this content and excited about what's in my life.  It's not dramatic or perhaps even exciting in the traditional sense, but it's what makes me smile. What I'm trying to say: things are good.


Sunday, July 13, 2014

Guess what?

Seems I'm a sucker for a good deal ... or something like that. I got an offer to do another year of Lean Eating at a reduced price, and I decided, after noodling the idea around quite a bit, to take them up on the offer.

So - another year!  It starts next week, and I'm looking forward to it.  I'll appreciate having a place to check in daily and be told to measure and take photos on regular intervals.  Not that I couldn't do that on my own (of course!), but I do like the whole structure of the program. I feel like knowing the program is my edge this time around; I'm sure of what I have to do to work on different things and get different results.

  1. I'm requesting a coach that will be more drill sergeant than cheerleader. My coach last year was an awesome lady, but this time I want someone who's still nice, but just a little more fierce. From the outset I'm going to make sure that I'm on my coaches' radar and that they know that I'm someone they'll need to keep on top of to keep me accountable. I really liked my coach last year, but I need a new perspective on things.
  2. I'm going to take advantage of the community and support system from the beginning.  Last time I started this and then dropped off pretty quickly and never felt entirely comfortable jumping back in, knowing that people already knew each other (despite being absolutely positive that everyone would have been more than welcoming). That's one of my quirks that I'm determined to work on.
  3. I'm definitely training more these days and I know that's going to help. Last time I was just starting to work out again and I know I didn't work hard enough.
  4. Asking for help has always been my achilles heel and that's another thing that I'm determined to work on. People aren't going to know what I need if I don't tell them (and yes, this could probably be applied to more than just this whole Lean Eating thing).
  5. It can't hurt, right?  It's only money...

Starting in about a week, it's back into the program.  I really didn't think I'd be one of those folks that goes through this particular rodeo more than once, but it was a strangely attractive option once presented.  I'm quite mindful, though, of the saying "Do what you've always done, get what you've always got" and that I'll need to makes things significantly different this time to get different results.

Hopefully I'm up to the task!

(okay, okay ... really, I signed up just so that I'd have an excuse to blog for another year...)

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Lean Eating Wrap-Up

Has it really been almost a year?  Hard to believe, honestly. I had committed to blogging every day, but -- obviously -- that hasn't happened.  But still, 158 posts later, I feel like I at least had a voice to put out in the world.  And I reckon that I'll keep on frequenting here as long as I'm doing battle with some of the unhealthy, reckless, devil-may-care voices that rule some of my decisions.
Does this mean I got an "F" in Lean Eating?


First, let's run the numbers, shall we?  Over the past year, my weight has been as low as 10 pounds below where I started and as high as 3 pounds above where I started.  Right now?  I'm sitting a few pounds below my starting point. Certainly not where I wanted to be, but I shudder to think what shape I'd be in now if I hadn't been working on myself through this program.  In terms of the tape measure, things are better -- I lost about 13" in total.  Despite the fact that my weight rebounded back up, I didn't put on the inches in tandem, luckily enough.  And the body fat caliper measurements back this up.

And let me say this for the record:  so many women -- women that I got to know over the course of the year -- totally ROCKED the program and transformed themselves in ways that seem almost unimaginable.  I mean, really -- you should check out the finalists.  The program certainly doesn't lack success stories.

Because I don't know of any other way to corral my rather disorganized opinions about Lean Eating, how about a The Good, The Bad and The Ugly list?  


The Good



  • The program is about so much more than what to eat and what workouts to do; it encompasses a lot of mental and emotional work to understand underlying issues.
  • A year is definitely necessary -- the program used to be only 6 months long and I would have felt very left-in-a-lurch if it had ended in January.
  • It's all about developing a lifestyle.  This isn't a restrictive eat-this-not-that diet but rather adjusting your outlook so it supports your goals and priorities and then building a way of life around that.
  • Gradually adding habits one at a time makes jumping in a whole lot less overwhelming than it would otherwise be.
  • It offers a lot of flexibility in terms of workouts -- while they have workouts to follow, you're free to substitute with something else that you enjoy more.
  • They have a ton of resources available if you have questions.  Not just your coach or your team, but nutritionists, physiologists and folks with other specialty skills as well.



The Bad



  • It isn't exactly cheap.
  • It's easy to not do the work, make no headway but still look like you're following along.
  • Once you put your information into the Lean Eating site, it's not altogether easy to get it back out (and once your year is up, you lose access to anything coaching-related, i.e. measurements, photos, written answers to exercises).



The Ugly



  • I believe that much of your experience depends on your coach and how well your personality matches what she provides.  My coach was awesome, but sometimes was too respectful of my space when I could have used someone to nag me (I know - I should just hire my Mom, right?).
  • If you aren't hitting the program at the "right" time -- meaning, mentally and emotionally ready to tackle your relationship with food and training -- it could be an exercise in frustration.
  • You get out of it what you put into it.  And if what you put in is superficial or not challenging your comfort zone, you won't get a whole lot in the way of results out of the program.



And to round it out, here are some of my biggest epiphanies:



  • Hunger is not an emergency!  Just because I think I'm hungry doesn't mean I necessarily need food.
  • Eating slowly really does work.
  • As does stopping eating once I feel like I'm 80% full.
  • I also don't eat nearly as much if I don't allow myself to do anything else while eating -- no TV, no reading, no computer, no phone.
  • Planning meals and workouts is the key to my success. I need structure!


Would I do this again?  Perhaps.  I feel like I spent a lot of time this year figuring out what my nutrition demons were and while I still don't have them all banished, at least I've identified the problems and put strategies into place to deal with them.  The last year has been spent looking inward; if I were to do this again, I would spend the year looking outward.  I would take full advantage of the community -- something I didn't do -- and participate fully, engaging with both my coach and with other members.

Would I recommend this program to someone else?  Probably, but with disclaimers.  If all you are looking for is a diet and workouts to follow, then it's not worth the money.  On the other hand, if your relationship with food or healthy living needs to be evaluated and put under a spotlight, this is a great program.  Coaches are really good at working through all sorts of issues and helping you figure out the "why"'s of eating and training habits.

And so with that, dear readers, I wrap up my Lean Eating year.  It's certainly been a learning experience for me, chock full of all sorts of good revelations about myself.  Hope you've enjoyed coming along for the ride!

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Surprised?

Well. 

This is like a Weeks 41,42,43,44,45... review, isn't it?

So sorry, no excuse other than not feeling like sitting at my computer much these days. And now I'm left with a lot of ground to cover -- because you wouldn't want to miss out on all the details, now, would you?


  • Perhaps I should to be surprised by this, but I'm not -- measurements, while seesawing over the past weeks, have essentially settled back to where I was however many weeks it's been since I last blogged. The upside is that I'm not any worse off, but the downside... well, that's apparent, isn't it.
  • I've started and finished the Whole Life Challenge, which included a whole bunch of restricting myself from eating food that I wanted to stuff down my gullet. Of course, it also included pushing me into eating healthy stuff instead, working out regularly and doing good-for-me things like stretching and taking a supplement.  I found that while I can cut down on all my sugar, I haven't been convinced that there's a good reason to do so (within reason, of course).  And I like eating grains.  And some raw vegetables are my mortal enemy.  In summary: sugar = good and vegetables = bad. Math doesn't lie, right?
  • While measurements may not have moved much, the baseline workouts that I did for the WLC showed that I gained fitness, if nothing else.  My initial baseline mile run 8 weeks ago came in at a 9:20m/m pace, but this morning I was a veritable speed demon out there with a pace of 8:34m/m. I was hoping for a full minute of improvement, but I'll take this. And with everything I've been doing, frankly, fitness is the most important measure to me.  If I can do everything I want to do while 30 pounds overweight, then I'll still be quite happy.
  • Lean Eating is still going on, but winding up.  The finalists for the $25,000 have been picked (spoiler: I'm not one of them) and we've got just a few weeks left before being sprung free from the monthly payments, weekly emails and daily lessons. I'll definitely have some final thoughts to share on what my opinion was of the entire program.
  • The WLC nutritional component kind of fell apart for me the last few weeks of the challenge. Through the first 5 weeks I rarely lost a point, but during the last 3, I was lucky to get 3 of 5, especially since I started back up my love affair with Diet Pepsi (oh, how I missed it!).
  • My mountain biking weekend has come and gone and I had a BLAST. And was unceremoniously reminded that all this sort of stuff is much more fun when I'm in good enough shape to really enjoy it.  That said, I loved all the biking (and didn't break any bones!) and the hanging out with the other ladies in our gorgeous cabin was totes awesome.
  • And next up on the list is my week-long Canadian Rockies hiking trip.  Can't wait! Of course, I've got a lot of work to do in the next 5 weeks to do as much as possible to prepare myself for it. I don't want to be the doofus holding the rest of the group back, that's for sure.
So, that's the quick overview of what I've been up to. Definitely more later since I'm planning on writing a wrap-up of both the Whole Life Challenge and Lean Eating.

Sunday, April 27, 2014

Sunday Funday: Week 40 Review

This will be my last week of nutritional freedom; starting this coming Saturday is the beginning of the Whole Life Challenge.  No sugar, no processed food, no grains, no dairy -- none of my go-to emotional eating foods.  What's a girl supposed to do?

Seriously, though, I'm looking forward to this challenge.  While it doesn't exactly follow the Lean Eating tenets -- meaning, some food is completely off-limits, which isn't the focus in LE -- it is everything I'm supposed to be eating.  And since I've been indulging way too much in sugary treats, keeping them completely off the menu will be good for me.  I've said it before, I do much better with abstinence than moderation.

And some of my most favorite people are doing it with me!  Honestly, that's probably the best part, the part I'm most excited about.  I absolutely LOVE group activities like this! For as much of an introvert that I am, I like shared experiences and encouragement.  Add in a bit of game play -- there are points to earn every day for nutrition, exercise, etc -- and that's the perfect vehicle to deliver me back to good health.

Anyone interested in joining?  Let me know and I'll tell you what team to join!  The more the merrier ... or, as I like to say, misery loves company.  

Onto what you're all here for ... 

Measurements
Everything is up.  Some might call this "strategy" since it'll make my WLC starting stats artificially higher, so I'll go with that.  Seriously, though, I need to stop eating so much crap.

Workouts
Kind of hit or miss this week for no real good reason.  That said, I did get out and run a few times, which is a nice switch.  Next week I have a 5 mile race (wait, let me put air quotes around that ... "race"... in my current state of fitness, there will be nothing fast about this), so that'll kick start my season.

Habits
This week's new habit was to fashion a personal mission statement.  This was an interesting exercise, and I spent a lot of time thinking about it.  At it's essence, this isn't difficult:  I want to live my life in such a way that I can go do anything and everything without having to worry about fitness limiting me.  I love being active and right now I'm too out of shape to really enjoy it.  So, I used that as a starting point and finally ended up with a few paragraphs that define how I want to live my life.

Habit Log
Weeks 1-2: Fish oil and probiotic
Weeks 3-4: Eating slowly
Weeks 5-6: Stop eating at 80% full
Weeks 7-8: Lean protein with every meal
Weeks 9-10: 5 servings of vegetables a day
Weeks 11-12: Make smart carb choices
Weeks 13-14: Plan Meals
Weeks 15-16: Log all food
Weeks 17-18: Create a sleep ritual
Weeks 19-20: Drink only zero calorie beverages
Weeks 21-22: Use targeted recovery strategies
Weeks 23-24: Eat only whole foods
Week 25: No new habits (work on the previous ones)
Weeks 26-27: A little more, a little better
Weeks 28-29: Lean protein and vegetables with every meal
Weeks 30-31: Stop eating at 80% full (an encore presentation)
Weeks 32-33: Modify carb intake
Weeks 34-35: Do a 5-minute body/mind scan every day
Weeks 36-37: Fitness media fast
Weeks 38-39: 20 minutes of de-stressing every day
Week 40:  Write a personal fitness mission statement

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Sunday Funday: Week 39 Review

Ah, yes.  Another long absence on my part.  Sorry about that.  Last weekend turned into a work cluster, with a 20-hour day in the middle of it, and it took me almost a full week to recover from it (okay, not really, but it felt like it).

While nutrition-wise it wasn't the worst week, it took me the majority of the time to get my butt back to working out.  And with the all-nighter on Saturday, I missed -- BY ONE WORKOUT -- completing my 4-week challenge to get my dual monitors.  *sigh*  Back to the beginning...

Anyway - Happy Easter, everyone. This will be short since I have to wrangle up the dogs and get over to the Easter celebration at my parents' house.

Measurements
All slightly higher.  Disappointing, to say the least.  This needs to change.

Workouts
Better towards the end of the week, capping off with a 4-mile run-type thing this morning.  Next week, totally back on track, promise.

Habits
The new habit is 20 minutes of de-stressing per day.  While meditation is what they're going for, any time spent without distraction counts.  Basically, just sitting and not having TV, music, books, computer, people, etc around to pull your focus away from just being.  I've been trying to make a conscious effort to do this, and I like it.  Nothing life-altering, but there is a sense of calm to achieve when you stop everything.

Intermittent Fasting
Only did this on 2 days, though I was better about not eating at night after dinner. When it doesn't happen for me, it's almost always that I don't wait long enough to have breakfast.

Habit Log
Weeks 1-2: Fish oil and probiotic
Weeks 3-4: Eating slowly
Weeks 5-6: Stop eating at 80% full
Weeks 7-8: Lean protein with every meal
Weeks 9-10: 5 servings of vegetables a day
Weeks 11-12: Make smart carb choices
Weeks 13-14: Plan Meals
Weeks 15-16: Log all food
Weeks 17-18: Create a sleep ritual
Weeks 19-20: Drink only zero calorie beverages
Weeks 21-22: Use targeted recovery strategies
Weeks 23-24: Eat only whole foods
Week 25: No new habits (work on the previous ones)
Weeks 26-27: A little more, a little better
Weeks 28-29: Lean protein and vegetables with every meal
Weeks 30-31: Stop eating at 80% full (an encore presentation)
Weeks 32-33: Modify carb intake
Weeks 34-35: Do a 5-minute body/mind scan every day
Weeks 36-37: Fitness media fast
Weeks 38-39: 20 minutes of de-stressing every day

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Sunday Funday: Week 37 Review

This weekend has been a wonderful vacation from the cruddy weather that we've been having for oh-so-long now.  It hasn't been particularly warm -- perhaps mid 50's -- but sunny and nice enough to be outside without wanting to shake my fist and curse at Mother Nature for being so cruel.  So, there's that.

And doggie drama-wise it's been a quiet week (I didn't this was possible anymore)... Clarke is limping around less, and the two dogs haven't been sniping at each other much at all, either.  Of course, Clarke feeling better is both a good and bad thing -- he's much more likely to go running or want to play, which is still strictly verboten.

As far as I go, things are moving along.  It was another LE milestone weekend -- measurements, photos and caliper body fat testing.  Oh, joy.  Coming up to the end of the year, which is entirely too weird to even think about -- the next big measurement weekend will be the last one, I think.

And on another front, I've signed up to be on a team for the Whole Life Challenge -- I vacillate between thinking this is going to be the best thing ever and wondering what the hell I was thinking. There'll be another blog post in the near future about this -- I think the 8 weeks I'll spend doing this is going to have a big impact on me.

Measurements
Again, about the same as last week, though the week was one of going up and then coming down in time for the weekend. I've been doing fairly well with trying to keep things in line, so I was a little surprised not to see the numbers move downward.  So - weight and measurements are approximately the same.  The body fat measurement, unfortunately, went up from last time, back to what it was in October -- with the weeks of studying, walking boot and complete lack of control, this was not unexpected. More work to be done, that's all.

Workouts
Another week of 100% completion! Feeling good about it all, I have to say. This is week 3 in the books towards getting my dual monitors! And I'm really looking forward to the day when it's nice enough to run outside without having to think about how many layers of clothing I'll need to wear.  

Habits
This completes the second week of the fitness media fast. Like I've said, I haven't been paying too much attention to this, so I'll be looking forward to a new habit tomorrow.

Intermittent Fasting
This remains the best weapon in my arsenal, I just need to do it more consistently.

Habit Log
Weeks 1-2: Fish oil and probiotic
Weeks 3-4: Eating slowly
Weeks 5-6: Stop eating at 80% full
Weeks 7-8: Lean protein with every meal
Weeks 9-10: 5 servings of vegetables a day
Weeks 11-12: Make smart carb choices
Weeks 13-14: Plan Meals
Weeks 15-16: Log all food
Weeks 17-18: Create a sleep ritual
Weeks 19-20: Drink only zero calorie beverages
Weeks 21-22: Use targeted recovery strategies
Weeks 23-24: Eat only whole foods
Week 25: No new habits (work on the previous ones)
Weeks 26-27: A little more, a little better
Weeks 28-29: Lean protein and vegetables with every meal
Weeks 30-31: Stop eating at 80% full (an encore presentation)
Weeks 32-33: Modify carb intake
Weeks 34-35: Do a 5-minute body/mind scan every day
Weeks 36-37: Fitness media fast

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Sticker mania

Just in case you were wondering about the status of my 4-week, can't-miss-a-workout challenge to myself, it's going great, thanks.  So far I'm two weeks in and still on track to meet my goal and gift myself dual computer monitors. I'm even being smart about planning workouts around days when I know I'll be too lazy to fit something in.  Impressive, I know.

Now here's my confession:  I've started using a motivational tool that I'm a little embarrassed about...

And yes, that's me there on the 3rd.  My birthday.  This calendar is my sister's creation and she
was nice enough to note my age (even though she didn't do that FOR ANYONE ELSE IN THE
ENTIRE CALENDAR). Still, isn't it pretty?  And luckily on the 3rd I was still in a walking
boot so I didn't have to put a sticker over my face.  Though that'd be kind of funny...

Yup, stickers.  I feel a little like I'm back in 3rd grade when stickers were THE COOLEST THING EVER and if I wasn't spending my money on candy, I was spending it on stickers.  I even kept them all in an album for safekeeping and easy perusal (yes, I was/is a geek).

So, yea, each day that I complete a workout, I get to put a sticker on that day.  Note that Sundays are typically days off for me, so the empty 23rd and 30th are totally legit, just so's ya know.  And this really does motivate me!  I love seeing the pretty colors and it's a little pressure to get the workout in so I don't have a lonely, blank day (that screams "FAILURE!!" and "YOU SUCK!") in the middle of my week.

I'm telling you -- it works.  Give it a try!  Just make sure you get cool stickers.

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Sunday Funday: Week 36 Review

Well, it's been kind of a mixed bag sort of week.  On the upside, I was relatively good with eating better and working out.  On the downside, my dog Clarke is starting to fall apart, it seems.

LOOK AT THAT FACE! He's lucky he's so damn cute
So, let's talk about my dog (it's my blog, I can do whatever I want...).  He had been limping around lately, and we were kind of hoping that by keeping him less active that it'd just start getting better all on it's own.  Well, that didn't happen (of course) and so, Clarke had yet another vet appointment where my fear was realized:  he has a torn ACL.

(yes, Clarke is just an incredibly cute walking vet bill)

The vet is hopeful that we can rehabilitate him without surgery -- which sounds awesome to me, since that procedure runs into the thousands of dollars -- but we have to keep him from completely blowing it up, which is not as easy as it sounds.  Despite the fact that he's limping around, all you have to do is hint at a treat or ring the doorbell or be a squirrel and off he goes, leg be damned.

Anyway, time for the weekly recap:

Measurements
About the same.  Everything is being kind of stubborn at the moment, but I keep telling myself to focus simply on what I have control over -- and that would NOT be my weight or measurements. The results will come.

Workouts
WOOT!  Not only hit all of my workouts, but didn't end the week trying to play catch-up. I did a good job at looking at my schedule and figuring everything out beforehand. Feels good to have gotten everything in.

Habits
This week started a new habit -- fitness media fast.  To be honest, I haven't been following this to the letter, though I have been making an effort to avoid my normal fitness stopping places on the interwebz.

Intermittent Fasting
This week I did this only 3 days, but even that helped.  Need to get this going throughout the workweek, for sure.

Habit Log
Weeks 1-2: Fish oil and probiotic
Weeks 3-4: Eating slowly
Weeks 5-6: Stop eating at 80% full
Weeks 7-8: Lean protein with every meal
Weeks 9-10: 5 servings of vegetables a day
Weeks 11-12: Make smart carb choices
Weeks 13-14: Plan Meals
Weeks 15-16: Log all food
Weeks 17-18: Create a sleep ritual
Weeks 19-20: Drink only zero calorie beverages
Weeks 21-22: Use targeted recovery strategies
Weeks 23-24: Eat only whole foods
Week 25: No new habits (work on the previous ones)
Weeks 26-27: A little more, a little better
Weeks 28-29: Lean protein and vegetables with every meal
Weeks 30-31: Stop eating at 80% full (an encore presentation)
Weeks 32-33: Modify carb intake
Weeks 34-35: Do a 5-minute body/mind scan every day
Week 26:  Fitness media fast

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

What month is it?

I'm not saying anything that anyone around here hasn't already said a million times, but I AM SO SICK OF THIS WEATHER. It's the end of March. It's OFFICIALLY Spring. And yet, I drove to work in white-out conditions just this week. And there's more snow predicted in the 10-day forecast. Ridiculous.

UNCLE! UNCLE! PLEASE MAKE IT STOP.

I'm ready to go running, ready to take the dogs for long walks, ready to take my bike out, ready to sit out on the patio with a book and an adult beverage but Mother Nature isn't in agreement. I'm afraid that we're going to go from 20's and snowing to 97 degrees with 100% humidity with none of the beautiful Spring weather that keeps me sane the rest of the year.

I appreciate you allowing me to rant, I almost feel a little better from it. And now I'll descend into my basement torture room for yet another workout because it's too cold to do it outside.

(and yes, I know I could go outside regardless of the weather ... and I used to run outside year-round ... but I'm older and whinier now)

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

New Habit Monday: Fitness Media Fast

The new habit for the next two weeks?  Boycott fitness media -- no facebook articles, no blogs, no magazines, no inspirational Pinterest posters, no nothing (really, I shouldn't be posting here either, but I'm more whiny than fitness-y).

The premise is sound:  we are bombarded with information and choices from all sides, but this overload doesn't necessarily do us any good.  The change is in the doing, not the reading about the doing, amiright?  And that's what we're tasked with -- focusing on consistently making good nutrition choices and getting in all the workouts without worrying about what everyone else has to say about it.

So, yea.  That's it.  Not much to it, is there? I won't be all that impacted by this -- while I certainly do my fair share of reading about fitness, I have more than enough other stuff to keep my brain busy.  I'll also say that since I started LE, I haven't paid as much attention to the articles and blogs that I used to because I already know what I'm doing and I'm not looking for anything new to take on. I'm easily distracted, you know.

And really, there's only one diet that produces results -- the one that you stick with and create a lifestyle around. 

So, none of this. Like what she's doing is
even possible.
Real people don't do that without their shoulders
popping right out of their sockets. A
nd her body has totally
got to be Photoshopped, right? If not, she
definitely needs a cookie. Or 8. Yup, I think not
seeing any of this will be good for me.