5 Whys

The other day we had an assignment:  answer the question "Why are you doing Lean Eating?"  Easy, right?  I've probably written at least a few blog posts on this question already.

But - not done yet.  Follow up that first "why" with another 4 "whys".  That's when it gets a little more interesting.

An example, using my furry monsters:

Why did you get another dog?
--> Because I thought Belle would like a brother.

Why did I think Belle would want a brother?
--> So she would have someone to play with. 

And why does she need someone to play with?
--> Because I love the thrill of keeping two 70-pound dogs from taking out my TV while wrestling with each other when my back is turned or I have to (god forbid!) pee.

And then on for another couple of whys.  You get the idea.

When doing it for real -- the whole why LE question -- it took me awhile to come up with an answer that satisfied me.  I kept going in the wrong direction, or ending up somewhere that didn't really feel like me.  So, I doggedly kept at it, working it around until it rang true.

And without further ado, here it is:

Why did I decide to join the Lean Eating program?
--> To lose weight and regain my strength.

Why do I want to lose weight and regain strength?

--> Because that will make it easier and more fun to be more active.

Why do I want to be more active?

--> Because being more active will get me in better shape.

Why do I want to get in better shape?

--> Because I want to have the body of an athlete.

And why do I want to have the body of an athlete?

--> Because having the body of an athlete will remove the awful sense of dissonance that I walk around with right now -- I think of myself as an athlete, but certainly don't look like one, and I kinda hate that.  I want that identity back!

I've always been an athlete in various stages of being in (or out of) shape, but this is as far away as I've been from looking like it on the outside.  And that's just not who I am. I want people to actually believe that I've done marathons and such without raised eyebrows and an "oh really?  I never would have guessed...".

Accountable

Over the weekend, the large group of Coach V's girls were separated into small accountability groups.  My group has about 10 ladies in it and we hang out in a Google+ community, which has turned out to be a pretty great way to be able to connect.

Tonight we had our first meet-and-greet using Google+ Hangouts and it was definitely cool.  It's one thing to get to know people through their postings and a whole 'nother thing to see people and really feel like there's a human being on the other end of the line. It adds an entirely new dimension to the relationships.

We talked for almost an hour, doing introductions and talking about what we thought of the program so far.  It struck me, about 15 minutes in, that these women -- there were 4 of us, plus our mentor on the call -- are the ones that I'll be spending the next year with. As much as I know that I can count on my friends and family to be there for me, after awhile I'm guessing they'll get a little annoyed with me constantly talking about it (you triathletes out there know what I'm talking about!).

On the other hand, my LE peeps will have my back.  They'll also have a complete understanding about what I'm going through, and that'll be more valuable than anything else.  I believe this accountability group will be the lynch pin to my success.

A tangent:  Google+ Hangouts are way cool!  It was a little laggy sometimes, but overall, for a free tool, it was pretty awesome.  Of course, I love all things Google, so I might be a little biased (and no, they don't pay me for all the nice things I say about them).

Back to the group.  We'll meet on a scheduled every other week basis, with as many impromptu get togethers as we want.  We're a geographically diverse group (though mainly all from the Midwest), but I get the feeling that some of these women will end up being really good friends by the time we're done with this.

And you know what?  That's a great feeling.

Meta post

My supervisors

What can I say -- yes, it's a blog post about my blog posting.

I've had more than a couple of blogs in the last few years and without exception, I started out all gung-ho and 2-3 weeks later I'd miss a posting... maybe two... and then POOF! it was an abandoned bloggy ghost town.

This blog, though, has gone further than any other I've started and my goal is to post every day for the 365 days that I'm part of the Precision Nutrition Lean Eating program.  Aren't you excited? A little bit of me every day!

Following the PN tenets, though, I'm giving myself permission to do the following things:  

• make entries short... not only does this help me out, but I'm thinking of you too!  Who really wants to read 3,000 words a day about this stuff?
• not have to obsessively edit each entry... this is the one area of my life that I'm incredibly type "A" -- I want everything to be absolutely perfect
• not have to recreate the wisdom of the great American novel or the hilarity of an SNL sketch each time out... basically, this is an online journal for me and while I want it to be entertaining, I also don't want to have to slave over my computer for 4 hours every night.  Get over it.

Essentially, I am giving myself the permission to be imperfect, knowing that it's a true reflection of the person I am today.

Now you know what to expect from me and feel free to give me hell if I start missing entries.  Of course, I'll say that the dog ate my homework (and knowing my monsters, that might actually be true), just so you know.

In the beginning

This isn't my first weight-loss, get-in-shape rodeo.  While I haven't done many of the more trendy diets (South Beach, no carbs, grapefruit diet, etc), in the past I've been successful with simply tracking food and exercise and eating whole, healthy foods. Pretty straightforward, right?

Of course, this time around that wasn't working for me.  It's a method that requires a certain amount of willpower and single-minded dedication and I just didn't have it in me (the siren calls of pizza and ice cream and cookies were too irresistible to ignore!).

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm confident in my knowledge of nutrition and training -- I've gotten myself lean and in shape and have even helped others as well.  But going into the Lean Eating program, I promised myself one thing:  I would approach it with a beginner's mind, as if I didn't know a damn thing about anything.

I wouldn't make assumptions, or think that my way was better (clearly, it wasn't). I decided that since I was paying someone else monthly that I'd let them do the thinking for me.  Do what I'm told and do it to the best of my ability. No questioning, no whining, no second-guessing.

Sometimes it's hard.  Take the fish oil, for example: I've been doing this for over 3 weeks now and while it's easy and I do it every day, I don't feel any different.  Part of my brain is going, "... and why am I still doing this??" and calculating the money I could save by not having to buy it at all.

At which point, I start telling that part of my brain to shut up.

(The whole thing is pretty comical if you happen to catch me in the act!  I think the dogs even laugh at me... of course, that wouldn't be the only thing they laugh at me for)

Anyway - I'm going into this with an open mind, ready to learn, ready to change.  And ready for that boundlessness, limitlessness and infinite wealth.

Sunday Funday: Week 3 Review

Another week in the books!  And look at all those green checks/gold stars!  I'm racking them up, even though things have gotten a little more difficult.

So - the roundup for the week:

Measurements
Another measurement Saturday has come and gone.  Again - just scale and tape measure.  And the only movement I'm seeing is up -- on the scale, at least.  Measurements have mostly stayed the same. I'm not too worried about this, though, since mother nature has wrecked havoc with my hormones this week.  Nothing better than having to do measurements while feeling like I'm bloated up to the size of the Goodyear Blimp.

Workouts
Go, me!  Hit every one and am enjoying them.  I've got that smallest flicker of who I used to be emerging -- the person that likes working out, likes getting sweaty, likes feeling sore the next day.  I think that how I've been eased into it has really made the difference.

Habits
The new habit for the week was start eating more slowly.  Talk about a challenge! I've spent so much of my life thinking of eating as something to "win" at that this requires a whole bunch of concentration to accomplish.  A few things I noticed over the week:  food that I thought that I liked, once I slowed down and really tasted it, I wasn't so thrilled with it (Trader Joe's Reduced Guilt Mac 'n' Cheese, I'm looking at you).  Also, just like they say, the slower I eat, the fuller I get, the less I eat.  I can see why this is one of PN's cornerstone habits.

Overall, it was a good, if slightly frustrating, week.  I'm getting better at being mindful of how quickly or slowly I'm shoveling food in my mouth, which is a big success.  And I think of workouts as something that have to get done instead of something to do only if I feel like it.  Progress has been slow, but I'm giving myself over to the process. Habits, workouts, assignments, DONE.

Row row row your... Concept 2?

Excitement abounds:  we were assigned an interval workout for today!

I've always been a bit of an odd duck because interval training has always been my idea of fun.  There's something about the "go really really fast and then go really really slow" rhythm that makes me smile.

I opted to get on my rowing machine for the training (it's gone unused enough that sometimes I hear it crying in the basement from loneliness).  We were assigned one paltry interval -- 15 seconds of work and 45 seconds of rest -- but I did 5.  I figured I was already there and doing it, so I might as well toss a few more in, just for kicks.  I'm an overachiever like that. 

A number of years back I discovered Tabata workouts -- sprint for 20 seconds, rest 10 seconds, repeat at least 8 times -- and was amazed that all the research said that 4 minutes of workout could be just as effective as a long workout.  I mean, really?  A 4-minute training session? That's nothing!  Sounds like the easiest workout ever!

Until you do it, of course.  The first 3 intervals go by and your brain is still thinking, "I got this, no problem...". During the 4th and 5th intervals, you start to hear alarms going off in your brain, and once you get through the 6th, you're just hoping to pass out soon because that would be preferable to the pain you're currently in.

I love how this training protocol can you leave you absolutely decimated -- there's something a little masochistic about it.  And you can do it with anything:  running, biking, rowing, squats, burpees, pushups, crunches!  Versatile and take-anywhere!  I'm starting to sound like an infomercial!

For those who haven't ever done it, I know you're mocking me in your head right now.  So, go ahead.  Try it. I'll wait. And then report back.  I promise I won't say "I told you so".  

Well, I won't say it too loudly, at least.

And don't worry, you'll be on the ground, breathing so hard you won't notice, anyway.

Habit forming

So, a little more about the PN theory on habits (and not nun-type habits, either).

Every two weeks, a new habit appears on my home page.  Now, what's nice about having two weeks per habit is how it's divided up -- the first week is all about kind of easing into things. I start with being mindful of what I'm trying to accomplish and then practice and experiment with different ways of getting it done.

With the fish oil, the first week was all about finding the right product, figuring out the best time to take it and determining what made it easiest to adhere to the habit.  The current habit -- slow eating -- requires testing out different strategies of slowing down and even just remembering that I'm supposed to be doing it (I'm getting old...remembering is always the hardest part).

And then the second week I try to move from "figuring it out" to implementation. Get my plan in gear and work it, baby!  During those last 7 days, the focus has to be on getting everything down pat so that when I get the next new habit, this one is easy peasy and doesn't require one bit of thought (I'm bad with "thought", too). 

Right now it's quite manageable -- one old habit and one new habit -- but it's occurred to me that in 52 weeks I'll have 26 habits to remember!  Yikes.  Of course, by then I'll be a mean Lean Eating machine and I'll have an entire healthy lifestyle on autopilot.  No remembering, no thought, just me wondering why the hell I take so much fish oil and why it takes me 5 hours to eat.  Or something like that.

Random Thought Thursday

Random Thought #1:  I've really been enjoying working out 4-5 days a week.  I absolutely crave structure and having someone else lay out the workouts and make me accountable for doing them really helps.

RT#2:  One of my dogs managed to slip by me and outside to chase down a bunny, so I got my cardio workout for the day!  Once she lost sight of the bunny, she found me and acted like nothing was out of the ordinary.

RT#3:  Eating dinner with a friend is the best way for me to slow down.  I talk and kind of forget about stuffing my piehole with food.

RT#4:  When I complete all my assignments for the day and that little green checkmark flies to the right hand side of my home page to join all the others in my happy compliance section, I get warm fuzzy feelings.

RT#5:  I'm really happy that football season is finally about here.  And I'll be ecstatic once college basketball starts! I'm such a sports nut.

RT#6:  I really need a haircut!  If it gets any longer, it's going to start looking like a mullet. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

RT#7:  It's good that my home owners association only allows me to have two dogs because otherwise I'm pretty damn sure I'd be Crazy Dog Lady.

RT#8:  For the first time in awhile, I'm excited about the future.  I know that the Lean Eating program is going to work for me.  I feel it in my bones.

RT#9:  I saw Despicable Me 2 and thought it was the best movie I've seen in a long time. Give me little yellow minions any day over real life stuff.

RT#10:  I had a Reese's Klondike bar.  I ate it slowly, though! So that's okay, right?

Tattletale

Yes, I have a little tattletale that follows me around all day, telling me how active I've

been and whether or not I need to get my butt off the couch. It's my Fitbit One. It pulls no punches and tells no lies (except if I forget to have it on me!).  I'm glad it doesn't actually have the ability to speak because I'm sure it'd be throwing insults like "hey lazy!  yea, you, sloth! get off your butt!" at me all the time (which would be embarrassing, I'd think).

Before I got it, I thought I was at least somewhat active. That the little bit that I walked around the office constituted some sort of activity level.  Um, yea.  No. Definitely no.  My office is so small and my getting off my duff so infrequent that I'm lucky if I leave the office with having gone a total of 2000 steps, which is about a mile or so.

To give you a sense of scale, Fitbit tells you to shoot for 10,000 steps a day. 10,000! That's about 5 miles, give or take and I've barely finished 20% of that by the time I get home from work. That's a little pathetic, don't you think? And I'll tell ya - hitting the other 80% after a long work day?  Not gonna happen.

But I will say that since getting this little tattletale gadget, I'm much more mindful of how much (or how little) I'm moving.  I know that during the week, I shoot for 5000-6000 steps -- just because my job is so sedentary, that's about what I can hit without starting to walk/run miles after work.  On the weekends, my goal is 10,000+ steps, which I can usually do without too much trouble as long as the weather cooperates with me being able to walk the dogs.

I wasn't sure I'd like it, but as it turns out, it's just another tool to keep me mindful of my health and body.  And being mindful?  Well, that's half the battle, as I'm finding out.

A little better, every day

So, the whole eating slowly thing?  Yea, it's far more of a challenge than the fish oil habit.

The fish oil was easy -- it was a completely new habit; I simply had to remember to take the stuff.  But eating slowly forces me to modify habits that have been ingrained in me since about the beginning of time.

Growing up, I was the middle child with an older brother and (because I'm a middle child) I'm going to pin all the blame on him.  See, he had that "hollow leg" syndrome that most teenage boys have -- the ability to eat and eat and eat and never be full.  Dinner became a race and if you weren't fast enough you might not get your share.  And I really (REALLY!) like to win (ahem!).  So I spent my formative years honing my speed-eating skills. All his fault, yep it was.

This habit has been hard to break as an adult, but today I think I made some progress.  I decided to start small.  Chew my food and no putting another bite on the fork until my mouth was completely empty.  I really had absolutely no idea that I consistently have a forkful of food queued up for my mouth long before I've even swallowed the current bite! Just shovel it in, Laura.  So, this little bit of waiting slowed me down a good deal, and I noticed a difference with how full I was getting.  Will wonders ever cease?

That's what this program is all about, though -- just getting a little bit better every day. There's no need to take on the whole world and make everything perfect.  

Now that's something to chew on.

Things just got tough

It's New Habit Monday!

The fish oil and probiotics stay in my bag of tricks, but it's time to add something new. And I'll tell ya, that something new isn't going to be easy -- we are tackling "eating slow". Huh. Yea, I'm gonna have a problem with this one.

And first day, I've already flunked the new habit.  Work was stressful and chaotic -- I barely took time to eat, and certainly didn't register the food going down.  Once I got home, I got my workout done, but then the CFO of the company called me and so I've been working ever since.  Dinner?  I inhaled some chips and a piece of homemade pie that my Mom left for me (YUM!) and it wasn't until I had nothing but crumbs left that I even realized that not only did I eat at warp speed, but I didn't really even notice the food (such a shame because that peach pie is to die for!).

So - this will be a challenge for me.  PN suggests putting reminders everywhere -- having your phone and computer pop up reminders every hour or so, putting post-in notes in the kitchen and stuff like that. I ought to tattoo the idea on my arms. Also - a good idea from one of my peers - eating left-handed! Of course, I'm pretty ambidextrous when eating chips, but with everything else that'll really help.

Pressed for time tonight -- need to get back to work -- and need to get to bed -- but figured I ought to 'fess up while I had a minute... and tomorrow I'll get right back at it. 

Sunday Funday: Week 2 Review

Clarke and Belle resting on rest day

Rest day! It's an absolutely gorgeous day outside, though, so I'll shortly be waking up the dogs from their morning naps and taking them out for a walk. Need to take full advantage of this sunny, 70 degree day before it's either 100 degrees out or 0 degrees and snowing.

Now I've got two weeks in the books.  And - like I've been saying - it's easy so far. The idea of changing just one thing at a time, concentrating on adding just one new habit every two weeks, still seems like cheating, but I promised that I would do whatever my Coach said. It's not like what I was trying to do was working, right?

This week finishes up two weeks of the habit of taking fish oil and probiotics every day.  I'm still not entirely used to the sheer amount of fish oil that we're supposed to take in, but at least it's become a habit that I don't think a whole lot about (hey! look at that! A method to the madness, eh?).  I'll be happy, though, when we cut the dosage in half in a few weeks. Until then, I wonder if all the fish oil has made me a better swimmer??

And - also - two weeks of workouts in the books.  I haven't missed one yet! (gold star for me!) Next week starts kicking up the number of rounds of each circuit, so this is going to start resembling a normal-length strength training workout.  There's also a stretching/foam roller component to all this, which is smart, in my very humble opinion.  I've been a proponent of the evil foam roller for years now, having made it my before-bed ritual awhile ago. Somehow the interminable pain of the roller seems to ease pain during the rest of my life, which isn't a bad trade-off, I suppose (though don't try to convince me of this when I'm in the middle of rolling out my ITB or lats!).

Two weeks down.  50 plus the rest of my life to go!

A "nothing special" kind of day

I like these kinds of days, when I have things to do but nothing really scheduled. In my LE world, it was a measurement Saturday -- scale and tape measure -- and as you'd suspect, nothing much really changed (apparently the $100/month only buys me so much).  I've only just started making small changes in my food choices, and not enough to impact anything in a meaningful way.  And that's fine - it'll come.

It was a good morning; got up early, took my measurements, walked the dogs, got my workout from Thursday done (I had a very weird vertigo-like thing going on Thursday, so I opted to move it to this morning), went shopping, went to the bank, did my food prep for the week, cleaned and hosed down the dog cages, vacuumed up dog hair, walked the dogs again, made some dinner, took one dog to get his nails clipped, did some more shopping and even made some time to just hang out with the pups and nap with them a little.

(you know, when I write it out like that I realize how much dang time and energy my dogs require!  They're lucky they are so stinkin' cute...)

Now, I'm in front of the TV, winding down for the night, knocking out this blog entry. This kind of productive yet relaxing day makes me feel good about everything. Somehow it even helps me make healthier choices, too.  It's hard to explain, but it's almost like when I'm taking control of my life and getting things done, why would I even want to mess with doing stuff that I know doesn't support my long term goals? 

"It's summertime and the living is easy..."

Little victories

Sometimes it's the little things that make a difference, right?  I mean, the LE program is built upon that premise -- that's why we take on only one new habit every 2 weeks.  Small changes done consistently can bring about big transformations.

This morning I woke up absolutely FAMISHED. My stomach was growling so loudly that even the dogs were kept from getting their last 20 minutes of sleep before I forced them outside for a walk. And what was I famished for?  Donuts. Doooonnnuuuuuuts.  MMMM.

I thought about the donuts while showering.  I imagined the chocolate frosting while getting dressed.  I walked the dogs and had visions of sprinkles dancing in my head.

Now, my usual modus operandi would be to swing in to the oasis off I-80/294 and take a run through the Mobil gas station to hit up their donuts.  But today?  I thought about how I knew I'd be weighing in on Saturday.  I thought about how I didn't need it.  I thought about how it didn't support my long term goals.  And amazingly, I drove right on by.  Go, me!

And a second small victory today:  I had made plans to go shopping with my Mom after work.  I told her I'd be around after going home to take care of the dogs, figuring that I'd just put my workout off until I got home afterwards.  Yea, right.  When was the last time I actually followed through on that kind of plan?  Let's just say there's a lot of calendar between then and now.

Right then I decided -- rather uncharacteristically, I'll add -- that I was instead going to be the type of person who made time for workouts. Different concept, eh?  I emailed my Mom, told her I'd be around a little bit later, and sneaked in the workout in between work and shopping. Again - go, me!

Thing is, I used to be that type of person.  The one who annoyed my friends because I always made plans around my workouts and training runs. I ran 4-5 days a week, rode my bike a few times a week, strength trained a few times a week.  And didn't think twice about it - it was just what I did.  All I know is, I want that back. 

And now, I'm confident I'll be that girl once again.  It'll take a little time and a string of these small victories over the course of the next year, but I'll get there.

You're on candid camera!

So, on Saturday the coaches and mentors held two GoToMeeting sessions.  The first was about the measurements we were having done and the second was a discussion/introduction on how to use the forums.

In my professional life, I use GTM sessions a lot, so I felt pretty at ease connecting up and joining the meeting.  I figured it would be how it usually is: connect up, join the crowd of people already there, and just listen in while someone leads the meeting and goes through a PowerPoint slide set.  Let's just say I was a little wrong.

So, I jump into the measurements meeting and whoa! there are 4 people staring back at me!  Well, not really since I didn't have a webcam on, but they're looking at the black box that represents me.  And Coach V. is all like, "turn on your webcam so we can see you!". Um, yea, I wasn't really prepared at all for this. Like, not even one little itty bit.

Not being able to think quickly enough to either lie about having a webcam or create a reason for not hopping in, I set about getting my previously-unused webcam turned on. Finally I appeared on-screen. Oog. Yup, I was really regretting the decision to skip my usual morning shower.

Initially - awkward.  I felt all kinda weird and exposed.  But then - something happened.  I relaxed, I started talking and all of a sudden it felt more like a conversation among new friends rather than a slightly bizarre techno talking heads meeting. Being able to see everyone really makes a difference; since I spend so much of my life on the computer sometimes I forget basic things, like, it's easier to read someone when you can see their face.  Duh.

I find myself a little surprised to honestly say that I'm looking forward to more of these meetings!  There are a ton of people in our Coach V. group, but this is an avenue to getting to know some of them on a deeper level than just reading their forum posts.

And now I've learned my lesson and know better:  no bedhead!